Before, I cared very little for my phone- never checking it or charging it. Now, I wait for text messages from a certain someone. Cellphones are ridiculous.
I finally told him and now the tears won’t stop. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, I just wanted to confirm something- I wanted him to know how I felt all this time. If it was okay to keep loving him and he said it was up to me. But that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. Idiot. Can’t you tell how much I love you, even if you’ve changed these past 7 years. Even if I barely know anything about you from the past 7 years. I’m willing to wait for you, for another ten or twenty years. I just want to know if you’ll wait for me too. Until all of your dreams and goals come true. I’ll wait for you. So you’ll have no regrets. I’ll work hard too for my dreams. But I’m afraid you’ll fall for someone else while I’m here waiting for you. I’m so pathetic. Really pathetic.
That’s why I’m going to do everything I can to be closer to him. I’m going to make him fall in love with me [again] whenever he’s ready to date. I’m going to wait, but not wait around doing nothing. So this is definitely my last chance.
I was suppose to have given up on him, but out of no where he commented on one of my stats on fb today and that happens every so never// He wanted to know “what was wrong,” since I had a lot of things on my mind. Seeing his comment gave me hope and the courage to message him back privately. I am extremely embarrassed now. So I logged out of fb and I’m afraid to log back in to see his reply to my dumb message.
When you start noticing other guys, things start to shaken up. After being in love with the same person for so many years- haven’t seen or spoken to him for the longest of times- I feel like I’m betraying my feelings of this one-sided love of mine by taking notice of other guys. As if the feelings I’ve held on for so long, become an instant lie. My feelings for this person is all I have for my love life- it’s a love that I treasure dearly. I want to stay miserably in love with this person forever- for ten or twenty more years and someday he would notice how much I love him. The feelings I’ve held on to since we were kids. I don’t want to be relieved of these feelings. Nor do I want to be saved from them by another person who found their way into my love life. Most of all, I don’t want to forget the bitter-sweetness of the love I’ve treasured for so long.
Sakura out grocery shopping for dinner.haha look at that super detailed bg//
I got lazy…
I’m still on architecture, and life’s so hard -cries- Don’t ever try to archictecture - dries his tears with a miniature-
Ahhh// I see, well I’m going to change my major to graphic design for illustration! So let’s both work hard towards our goals/dreams! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ